


Sweet things

by philspoetry



Category: Phan
Genre: M/M, Phan Drabble, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7770376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philspoetry/pseuds/philspoetry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan imagines a lot of sweet things especially with Him in there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet things

**Author's Note:**

> Wow hi, i just wanted to say that English is not my first language and there is probably like 682627 typos and some things will not make sense. But well. 
> 
> TW: death
> 
> Stay safe, please.

he said; lets run away  
and I grabbed his hand,  
his soft touch made me shiver,  
his gentle eyes made me smile,  
his lips made me weak.

"where?"  
i dared to ask looking deep into ocean of his eyes. there was a lot of hope and it felt like home. 

"far...far away. where I can watch you, looking at the sunset, probably on the beach, yeah...beach would be nice" he smiled and I blushed.

then he moved under me, his bare chest touched mine,  
little hair tickling my cheek.

his arms were around me, giving me warmth, as bed sheets were somewhere in the corner of the room.

he always complained about me pushing it off in my sleep.

and I laughed, so he could smile.

"when?"  
I whispered, kissing his collarbone gently, I felt goosebumps and smiled into his pale skin. 

"now" he said, his hand in my hair and I looked at his face. his eyes were searching for somethings in my face. like he was scared that I would not agree.

"okay"  
I said and got up from bed. cold air hit my skin and my hands went straight to my hair pushing it away from my eyes.

I got my old school bag and threw few clothes and bottles of water in there.

.

"you look attractive when you're driving" I said to him. corners of his mouth rose and I bit my lip. 

I took his hand in mine.

I felt safe.

I pressed kisses to his palm and then knuckles and then wrist with few bruises and scratches. 

we felt safe.

on the beach he kept moving my hair from my forehead. my eyes were closed. my body was relaxed. my hair was messy, and his touch was shaky. 

"I love you"  
he told me quietly. I opened one of my eyes and smiled. 

"I love you, too"

"I want you to be happy"

"I am happy. I am happy with you"

he pressed his lips to my forehead and kept it there for few seconds.

I closed my eyes again. 

the quiet rang between us as we laid there.  
my head on his lap.  
his hand slowly caressing my fringe to the back of my head.

I closed my eyes feeling cool breeze from the ocean on my arms and cheek. 

He kissed tip of my nose and i smiled, because small gestures like this make me smile the most. 

"I wish you could smile like this more often", he whispered under his breath. I shivered from coldness and i looked at him, trying to find what he was thinking about.

But He was looking at the horizon, where the sun was setting, painting whole sky in pinks, oranges and greys. 

It's going to rain

 

And i sat on his lap, his warm cheeks in my cold hands.

I looked in his eyes, which were dark like old cornflower i used to pick and dry between pages of my books.

I knew he's mind is full of crazy ideas. About him, his life, me and my life with him.

"Say something" i said looking at him. 

"It makes me very upset when you are faking smiles..." He whispered placing his hands on mine. "or when you cry before you fall asleep...or when you're getting up at four in the morning go to bathroom and hit walls with your fists...or when you lie that you're happy" his voice was so broken, full of agony.

"I-" i tried to say

"And when you drink your coffee plain and cold and have no motivation to do anything. I can't stand seeing you like this"

"How don you know that?"

"I see it, Dan. I know I'm crappy boyfriend. Yes, I am ugly and have crazy past and maybe I am too tall and talk too much but do not that mu-"

I stopped him there by pressing my lips to his. My arms were tangled around his neck and my face was buried in his neck "don't say that" I said in soft, quiet voice. 

"the point is. I want to see you fully happy, Dan. I want to see happiness in your eyes. I want to see your body shaking with happiness not with sobs"  
.  
He stood outside my house. His eyes were full of worry looking in my eyes.

"Im seeing you on Monday, then" he said and i smiled in his chest. 

"I love you" i said and then delicately kissed his jawline and then lips.

"And I, you" he said pressing few warm kisses to my face. His hand hugging my cheek. Final kiss on my forehead. "Please be safe"

I nodded and looked at him driving away from my street.  
.  
My heart was filled with rage. 

Raindrops strongly hitting the windows in my room. 

I grabbed my pillows to cover my ears while loud sobs were escaping my mouth. 

Why, why, why, why, why?

Endless questions, even less answers.  
.

Monday came quickly. 

Thankfully.

He was waiting for me with an umbrella outside school gates. He smiled as soon as he saw my appearance and I ran to be in his warm arms.

He welcomed me with kiss in the head. 

"Hi, little one" he said his voice making me shiver.

"Hi." I replied And then everything broke. My body started shaking when i let big, ugly sob out.

"Oh Dan" he said "please" he said lower. "Someone will see you" he said. 

And i tried to control myself. I really did.

Stuttering i let out; "I can't believe you're gone" my fringe got stuck to my forehead from cold rain. "Everything feels so realistic" whispering I continued. "I am tired. I don't want to live on the planet without you" 

I looked up, and he wasn't here. His umbrella was gone. People walked past me sending me apologetic looks. I could hear my dad screaming, angry but also sorry. 

Because I didn't go to school anymore .

Because I am 25 years old.

Because I didn't keep the promise.

Because I can't shake with happiness nor smile.

Because Phil is not there and all sweet things happen to be my imagination.


End file.
